Sometimes i miss my grandmother so much i can hardly stand it. when i say this people look at me funny, of course everyone misses there grandmother when she dies, but mine was like my second mom. I feel horrible.I heard "Black horse and the Cherry Tree" at work and i started tearing up. My granny loved that song she didn't know any of the words, except, "woohoo", and she would sing it like 5 minutes after KT Tunstall, she was always late.
It's a lot of the little things i miss like when she goes to the drive through pharmacy and rolls down the window and screams her name at the pharmacist. I just thought she was so proud of me all the time and she's not here to see me work, she won't be there to watch me finally make it to college after all of my hard work.The thing that brings me the most pain is that my children will not know the most amazing person i have ever encountered.
I've lost someone i loved every year since 2000, and some losses before that and i really don't know how much more i can take.
My dad hasn't responded at all to his fathers day present, which hurts he doesn't even care if i hate him. You know the funny part is I've spent all these years wondering what i did to make him not want me and trying to be the best at everything, thinking he would decide to love me. I still have this mentality sometimes, but I've finally figured out that he's fucked up, not me.
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2 comments:
You're a step ahead of the crowd, already!
I envy you your relationship with your grandmother. I knew only one grandparent, and she died when I was four.
Of course, my parents were old enough to be grandparents, but I don't think that counts.
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